West Side Wine

I love it when this happens. A young, rather arrogant gentleman walks into the store with a WSW bag containing a bottle of wine. No hello, no pleasantries. He simply walks up to me, slams the bottle on the counter and says, “I purchased this bottle of wine yesterday and it’s ‘corked’!” 

Now, I don’t have a problem with exchanging any bottle of wine that is in some way not right. It happens. So I remove the bottle from the bag in order to taste it for myself. As I look at the bottle and start to unscrew the cap….you know where I’m going with this.

So I  informed him in, my inimitable fashion, that in order for a wine to be corked, it needs a cork. Oops.  You could see the arrogance melt away and humiliation taking its place.  I gave him the courtesy of tasting the wine, and told him that there was absolutely nothing wrong with it.  But he was in up to his neck and he wasn’t going to back down.  “Well, I find this wine unsatisfactory,” was his response.  

Okaaay.  Now we were into the face saving mode, and this was becoming a no-win situation. But I had to get another shot in.  “This is a fantastic Zinfandel, but maybe the grape isn’t for you. And by the way, in the future, here’s what you should be looking for in a corked wine, besides a cork.”  I proceeded to give him a “Corked 101″ lesson, along with half  his money back (stupid, I know, but the embarrassment was worth it) and sent him on his way.  The two people that were standing there waiting to pay had a lot of fun with it, so I ended up getting my money’s worth.

Word to the wise:  If you think something’s wrong with a wine, just say “I’m not sure, is there something wrong with this wine?”  That will get you a lot more than a red face and some snickering. 

Cheers.

Okay, so this couple (man and woman) comes in the other day and immediately goes to the back of the store, just like everyone else does (don’t ask me why, human nature I guess.)  They ignore my offer to give them some help should they need any.  Twenty minutes later, they’ve slowly worked their way to the front.  Finally after conferring with each other, the woman approaches me and says, “What kind of place is this? I know it’s a wine shop but I don’t recognize a single wine. I’ve never had this happen to me before, and it’s really weird.”  

“Really?” I reply.  That’s fantastic!  You’ve just made me very happy.” 

She peered around me in search of my second head and whined,  ”But you don’t understand!  Where are wines I know like (blank) and (blank) and (blank)?”  

I smiled.  ”We don’t sell (blank) and (blank) and (blank) because any nit-wit can sell them.  Besides, that’s not selling, that’s just putting something  on the shelf and letting it sell itself because everyone knows it.  Not fun. Not good wine.  Not this store. ” 

She continued to stare at me.  ”But aren’t you supposed to sell wines that people know and like?  Isn’t that why you’re in business?” 

 ”People do like these wines once they’ve tried them,” I explained. They just don’t know them at first.   They trust me to introduce them.  If you want (blank) and (blank) and (blank) I’d be happy to direct you another place that sells that stuff.” 

She just shook her head. “I’ve got to think this over,” she muttered, and then they left, dazed and confused.  I hope they didn’t wander into traffic or anything. 

I get this a lot.  But you know, where’s the fun in giving folks what they already know?  The couple never returned.  I sure hope that they found their (blank) or (blank) or (blank).  No doubt, they did.  Their loss. 

Hey, out there!  It’s a new year!  A new decade!  Try something out of the ordinary!  Life’s short, live it.

I know you’ve already got your list of the usual suspects,  but here are a couple more (just two!) that are wine-related.  While this seems self-serving, I’m doing this for your own good.  You’ll thank me down the road.

Resolution #1: Open your mind, forget stereotypes and pre-conceived notions, and allow yourself to enjoy some truly great wines.  I’m talking about wines from Beaujolais in France, and German, Portuguese and, yes, our beloved New York State wines to name a few.  Beaujolais is a wine (from the gamay grape) that goes so with so many different foods, is affordable, delicious, and so much more than the “holiday” version you have in mind when you here the “b” word.  Riesling is another Rodney Dangerfield of wines.  Forget those thoughts of “sweet” or “fruity” or “grandma’s wine”, and take the plunge.  Rieslings are one of food’s best friends, they’re low in alcohol, and you get a lot of wine for your buck. Know that cheap doesn’t mean bad, and Portugal should be celebrated for giving you terrific wines for ridiculously low prices.  What are you risking, eight or nine bucks?  I promise you won’t go blind.  But you will get a headache when you slap yourself in the forehead for waiting this long to try these wines.  Some of the best wines are right under your nose or just to the east and the north of you.  The Finger Lakes, the East End of Long Island and the Hudson River Valley are rocking with both reds and whites.  Gone are the days of inferior “local” wines, so embrace what these wines have evolved into.  For whatever reason you’ve avoided these or other wines, take another look at them and as always, try something new.

Resolution #2:  Ask more questions when you’re buying a bottle of wine.  Don’t be afraid to put your wine merchant to the test.  Questions like, “Is this any good?” or “Is this drinkable?” aren’t going to tell you anything about the wine — just that you won’t die drinking it.  Try an easy, fool-proof approach like “Tell me about this wine.”  That’s not so tough, and the answer will tell you a lot about not only the wine, but about who’s selling it to you.  Good information means that you’re in good hands.

So, I hope I haven’t added too much on your resolution plate.  My resolution to you is to keep coming up with fantastic wines that are great values that you’ve never heard of, and to stay in touch more.  Happy New Year, gang. And cheers.